"He's turned his life
around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and
depressed."
--
David Frost
I like work: it
fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
-- Jerome K.
Jerome, "Three Men in a Boat"
Punctuality is
the virtue of the bored.
It has been my
experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
The reason there
is so little crime in Germany is that it's against the law.
The cat could
very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
-- Doug Larson
Brass bands are
all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away.
--
Sir Thomas
Beecham
We hang the petty
thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
-- Aesop
He hasn't an
enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him.
(VAT) returns are
the most imaginative fiction being written today.
--
Adapted from Herman Wouk
I don't know why
we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy
ourselves.
-- Ludwig
Wittgenstein
You can't beat
this drinkinG!
Glory is
fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon
Bonaparte
The fear of
failure is much more stimulating than the reward of success.
Everybody lies,
but it doesn't matter because nobody listens.
-- Nick Diamos
It is the nature
of all greatness not to be exact.
-- Edmund Burke
When they
discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed
to discover they are not it.
-- Bernard Bailey
He is one of
those people who would be enormously improved by death.
-- Saki
A single death is
a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
-- Joseph Stalin
Lack of money is
the root of all evil.
-- George
Bernard Shaw
Misery no longer
loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
-- Russell Baker
Surveyors are
like monkeys. All you have to do is find out what sort of nuts they like
and keep on feeding them.
Never interrupt
your enemy when he is making a mistake.
-- Napoleon
Bonaparte